Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Tuesday's Tribute

Tuesday's Tribute
Yet Another Jay and Deb Production.

My Tuesday's Tribute is dedicated to none other than Miley Cyrus, the pre-teen idol.



Dearest Miley,

When your show Hannah Montana first came to my attention through my darling child, I thought "Hey this show looks ok." It did…it really did. No foul language, nudity, or bad innuendos. Even though it dealt with boy issues, it was harmless, for the most part. Plus, the kid friendly music had the aforementioned child quite entertained,even if your singing ability is very very limited.

Very. Just had to add one more to make my point.

I even took my precious baby to your 3D concert movie. There we were,glasses on and bouncing to the music when you…oh, I can barely say it…gyrated like a mini hoochie mama. My hand twitched to cover my angel's eyes, even thought it was too late. Miley, Mileyyour audience is a handful of babies. Why are you gyrating? What are you gyrating? Who are you gyrating for? These are unanswerable questions that keep me up at night.



It all went downhill from there You wanted to branch out from your pre-pubescent fan base and reach a more mature audience. Apparently,by mature, you meant older teens with whorish tendencies. Your lyrics…no good. Your look….no good.

Then, the big kaboom. The mama-jama of no-nos. The type of thing that makes every parent cringe. Naughty pictures. What are you thinking? First, naughty pictures at your age are horrific. The fact that you're taking naughty pictures with Hello Kitty sheets is even more horrific. Sorry Miley, I just can't support you anymore. You just can't be a role model for my baby anymore.

Just a tip, my dearest Miley. If you want people to take you and your career seriously, put your clothes back on, clean up your lyrics, and stop humping your microphone on stage. Until then, its all Jo-Bros,all the time in my house.

Sincerely,
A disturbed mother

9 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Hahaha! I can't stand Miley. I so hope this is the year she gets knocked up! But of course, it won't be by that 20 year-old guy she hangs out with all day long, because they are just "friends."

Laura said...

I agree - she really has rather sleazy lately. Her parents need to set some limits for her, before she ends up like another Britney Spears (who claimed for the longest time that she was a virgin until she got married - ha!). Then again, I think Billy Ray Cyrus is just living through Miley, since he doesn't have much of a singing career anymore.

Deb said...

PERFECT tribute! can't stand her and she does seem to be going down the tubes rather quickly. but you know, that older MAN she hangs out with is JUST a friend of hers. yeah, right!

Bezzie said...

Awwww you just broke her achey breaky heart!!! Thank god I've got boys!

Jay @halftime lessons said...

Oh YES.

Thank you SO much for doing this...Every time my 4 yr old says HM, I cringe...

Maybe we can persuade her and Britney to do a Thelma and Louise.

AWESOME Tuesday's Tribute! Hope we see you back next week!

Jay

Riohnna said...

Oh. My. Goddess!!!! That is so sad, people use children to gain money, and,,,,,, do things like that!

Ally said...

I loved reading this post, you're so funny!

I cant stand the fact that her merchandise is EVERYWHERE, gets really annoying. I too am very happy I have boys, and that they are too young to notice her.

Thanks for the pattern link!

OOAK babies by Mina said...

When I first saw the pic and headline, I thought "oh-oh, not a parent who thinks the sun shines out of her..." Well you know.
I am so THANKFUL my 8 year old is not interested in her, especially after seeing the ad for the Teen Choice Awards. Miley was standing at her seat and started singing while rubbing her hands up her body and over her chest...Bye bye Miley, you're a big no-no for the little impressionables, even my 13 year old niece has noticed your skanky-isms.

Shirley said...

Even though you can't see me......I'm standing and cheering you on for taking a stand against what our young children are being subjected to by MC and others. We need more parents to stand up and voice their opinions on these issues.